Introspection
by FlammableHeart
Summary: This summer was supposed to be about me and Kyle, but then Stan had to come back early from his trip to New York. Bastard... KennyKyle, Kenny's POV.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay so this is my first chaptered fic ever. I haven't written anything for a while so I'm still getting used to it. Please review and tell me anything that I can work on. I thrive on constructive criticism. Anyways, I hope you like it. _

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own South Park, Matt and Trey do. _

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"Kyle! Wait up!" I yell out as I sprint towards him. I'm not very athletic, so I have to stop and take a breather every now and then. 

"Dude, you're so damn slow, it's not even funny." I laughed at hearing his lame attempt at insulting me.

Kyle and I have become very close ever since Stan ran off to New York for a baseball summer course with the Mets. To tell the truth, I'm kind of relieved he's gone. I mean, I like him and all but…

"Hey!" I suddenly snap back to reality as I hear Kyle rudely interrupt my train of thought.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just thinking. So, did you ask me something?"

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately. That's a surprise," he said, and sort of chuckled at this when he said it. "Anyways. I was just wondering what you were doing tonight."

"Well, I think I'm just going to stay home all night and cry because of what you said. I'm sincerely hurt." I smile at this and fake a tear or two.

"Okay then, I guess I'll just have to sit home all by myself with pizza and movies. All by myself."

"Alright. I guess I can delay my self-pity fest. I'm only going because you owe me for that painstaking comment." I smile and try to hold down my laughter as I'm saying this.

"Good. It'll be worth it." He gave me this weird smile after. It's unlike one I've ever seen before. I think I should be creeped out but it actually comforts me. As we keep walking. I just think about that smile, and just thinking about it makes _me_ smile.

"Are you thinking about naked chicks again?" he says with a smirk. I guess Kyle saw my smile, so I just go along with it.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I just shake it away and think nothing of it as we keep walking.

"Okay, this is my stop." I think I might know that by now. "Bye Kenny! See you later."

I wave goodbye to him, and I don't really say anything back, which is normal for me. I shove my hands into my pockets and walk towards my house. I keep thinking about his smile. I love that boy's smile. It's just so perfect and straight, but I should really stop thinking about him. He's just my friend. Nothing more.

I had really hoped that my father wasn't home. He had become more of a drunken bastard than he was in previous years. I've thought about running away before. Every time I do though, I just think of my younger sister. Nobody would take care of her if I left.

As I neared my house, I felt like an anvil of anger and sadness fell right onto my chest. The bastard was home. The car was parked on the lawn with the driver's door open. This means that he has been drinking again.

I walked to the front door, stopped, braced myself and casually walked in. My father was standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open.

"Where have you been, boy?" He yelled at me over the loud hum of the refrigerator. He was surprisingly understandable when he was drunk and angry. Or maybe I'm just fluent in drunk language, probably the latter.

"None of your fucking business," I muttered this to myself more than to him.

"What did you say boy?" I was already on my way to my room by the time he said this, so I just ignored him and slammed the door in his face.

I figured I should try to get some sleep before I go to Kyle's house. I don't want to fall asleep while watching movies. I haven't been sleeping much the past few days, so I deserve it. I figure I can get at least three hours in before I go to Kyle's.

It's been almost an hour now since I've been lying here. I can't fucking sleep over the sound of my parents arguing. They always argue now. They may as well get a fucking divorce and get it over with. I just decided to get up and go play video games, which is about as productive as laying here not sleeping.

"Your father says you were late today. Where the hell were you?" She's been drinking too.

"It's none of your fucking business! And why would you care anyway?" I've had enough of them prying into my personal business, especially when they're drunk like this.

"Watch your fucking language! I will not tolerate that in my household." She is such a hypocrite.

"Whatever. I'm leaving." I'm not really in the mood to fight.

"Get your ass back here!" My father lunges toward me and grabs me by the shoulder, pulling me back into the kitchen.

"Get off of me!" I start flailing around trying to hit him. Surprisingly, I feel my hand connect with his nose. Big mistake.

He let go off me and took a few steps backwards. Blood was pouring out of his nose. I should have ran, but my legs were frozen. I just stood there and stared at him, shocked at myself. He looked up back at me and lunged towards me again, hitting me square in the jaw. My mother got him off me after a few punches. He bust open my lip, and my nose was bleeding. Just a scratch.

I decided that now was a good time to leave for Kyle's. I mean, it is only five, but I don't think he'll mind me coming over now. I didn't even bother washing myself up, I wanted to get out of the house as soon as I could.

It's been five days since school got out and already I was pissed at my parents. I'm really glad that I'm going to Kyle's house. During the past five years since fourth grade, I have been feeling more attracted to Kyle. This summer I was finally going to do something about it. I wanted to find out how he felt about me. Damn this crazy thing called love.

I was staring down at my feet, not really watching where I was going. I think I might have passed Kyle's house because when I finally looked up, I was in a completely different neighbourhood. I glanced down at my watch, and it said six. Shit, how did that happen? I started retracing my steps. It was kind of hard for me to do, since I wasn't paying attention to where I was going before.

"Kenny!" I glance around me. All I can see is a car parked ahead of me.

"Stan?"

"Where are you headed to?"

"I thought you were gone for the summer."

"Well I was. Turns out they cancelled the workshop at the last minute. I wanted to get home right away to see my best friends," he had with a big smile on his face. "Where are you headed to? And what the hell happened to you!?" He just noticed the blood on my face.

"Well I kind of got lost on my way to Kyle's house. And it's nothing." I wiped the blood off my face with my sleeve, regretting that I didn't clean myself up before I left.

"Hm, well I was just heading over to Kyle's to tell him I'm here. I can take you with me if you want." I can tell he didn't believe me about it being nothing. He never does.

"Sure."

He kept talking the whole ride to Kyle's house about some chick named Tracy. I really didn't give a shit about his new friend.

"We're here. I'll pick you up around ten, okay, Stan?" Sharon said, helping me zone back in from my own thoughts.

"Okay. Thanks for the ride, mom."

"Yeah, thanks for the ride Mrs. Marsh."

"That's quite alright. See you two later then."

We walked up to Kyle's door and rang the doorbell. It was only six thirty. Kyle opened the door with a big smile, such a cute smile…

"Stan, you're back!" Kyle embraced Stan. Damn Stan.

"I sure am! They cancelled the workshop at the last minute, and I wanted to get home as soon as possible."

"Well, come in! I really missed you. I have pizza, video games, and movies. So we're good for the night. Tell me about the trip!"

"Well there's not much to tell but…" I zoned out again at this point. I've already somewhat heard what he said. I didn't care before and I don't care now.

An hour has passed since we've arrived, and so far, Kyle has been talking to Stan the whole time. I'm the third one out. Again. This is just perfect. This summer was supposed to be about Kyle and I, no Stan. Bastard...


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm sorry it took so long for me to update this. I didn't think I was going to ever update it but here I am, updating. I will try to update as much as possible but my life is being very demanding at the moment. I hope you guys enjoy chapter 2 as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have rediscovered the joys of writing. :) _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own South Park. Matt and Trey do. _

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Stan has only been back for a week and he's already starting to get on my nerves. He always wants to be with Kyle when we hang out. I mean they are best friends and everything, but I want some time to myself with him. I don't think he really understands that. I have always been the outcast of the group. They like me more than they like Cartman, but I still feel left out. It's probably because I'm poor. The guys always rag on me for that. I'm pretty sure they're only joking but it starts to get to me. Maybe that is why I haven't been getting sleep or acting "normal" lately. Maybe I'm finally starting to realize that all the guys' taunts and ridicules are true. I am poor. There is nothing I can do about it. My parents drink away all the money we have and then we have to live on charity until their next payday. At this moment the phone rang and I ignored it thinking my parents would answer it. It kept ringing and then I realized that maybe they weren't home at the time. I quickly got up out of my bed, run to it, and answer it.

"Hello?" I say somewhat dazed acting like I just woke up.

"Kenny? Is that you?" It was Kyle! I instantly perked up at the sound of his cool voice coming to me through the phone.

"Yeah it's me. What's up?" I replied as casually as I could even though my heart was hammering in my chest.

"You sound like you just woke up. Did I wake you?" I love how concerned he is about me.

"No. I haven't been sleeping much. I was just lying in my bed." I sat down at the kitchen table in order to steady my legs and try to get rid of the butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh. That's not good for you man. You need sleep in order to function properly." He said with concern in his voice.

"Yeah I know. I just can't help it." The butterflies still aren't going away.

"Well just try. Anyway, I wanted to see if I could make up for that night when I invited you over and Stan showed up. I feel like we don't hang out enough anymore and you're really starting to worry me." I felt a rush of excitement. I couldn't believe he just said that to me! Does he feel the same way about me? Maybe this is why he wants to be alone with me. So he can tell me how he feels about me. Oh that would just make me the happiest boy alive!

"Yeah sure. That sounds good. What do you have in mind of doing?" I try hard to hide my excitement. I don't want to seem too eager.

"Pizza and movies? Like our original plan?" His voice is just so… what's the word? I could listen to his voice all day and night.

"Yeah that sounds good. I'll be there in an hour?" I really just can't wait to see him again. Alone. No Stan.

"Alright. I'll be waiting for you then." He replied with a smile in his voice.

Maybe he's finally realized that we were meant to be together! It's about a half hour walk to house from mine so I quickly have a shower and get dressed to see him. I throw on my old ripped pants and a plain orange t-shirt. I traded the orange shirt for my orange parka I always wore in the fourth grade. I gave it to my little sister for her to wear when she gets big enough to wear it. I am far too big for it now. I'll miss it though since I had such great memories in that orange jacket. I quickly put on my old sneakers and dart for the door. Hopefully I can leave before my parents get home. They don't need to know where I'm going. As I go through the front door, my heart begins to sink. I can see my dad's rusty car weaving around the road. He's drunk. Again. I ran as fast as I could across the street and I can hear him yelling profanities at me. I don't listen to anything he's saying. I just want to get out of there as fast as I can.

I quickly turn my head to see if he's following me. He's not. I got so relieved at this that I stop to catch my breath. His car is on the lawn as it usually is when he's drunk. As soon as I catch my breath, I start to walk towards Kyle's. I will actually pay attention to where I'm going this time so that I don't get lost again. I turn my head and take in the town of South Park. It certainly has grown in the past few years. I look around me as I walk to take in the scenery. The trees are so beautiful during this time of the year. They are so green and full of life. I remember when the fellers and I would climb up those trees when we were younger. Ah to be young again. So innocent, so eager to do everything and anything. I miss the joys of our youth. We were so entranced by everything around us. We had no complications. We didn't worry about our future or the past. There was only the present. In my part of town there aren't many trees left. There are too many people moving here. I always thought I was the only poor person in South Park. Looking around me, I quickly shoved the notion out of my head. Of course I'm not the only poor person. If I was, then there wouldn't be as many people moving to my area. Many old residents are moving here because they can't afford the new houses that are being built. I can see why though. They certainly are beautiful houses. I have always dreamed of growing up and moving into one of those houses. Kyle's family moved to the new district of town and had a gorgeous house. They certainly can afford it since Kyle's dad is a lawyer.

As I turn around the corner thinking of how I would grow up to own of those houses, I can see Kyle sitting on the front steps of his house. The butterflies came back. My heart starts to race in anticipation of seeing him again. I immediately quicken my pace so that I could get there faster.

"Kenny!" Kyle turned up his head and gave me the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life. I suppose he heard me walking down the street.

"Hey Kyle!" I can't help but smile back at him. He just makes me so happy whenever I see him. He came down the driveway to meet me and gave me a big hug. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I quickly realized that I was just standing there while he hugged me so I wrapped my arms around him. He let go of me, looked me in the eyes, and then walked back to his front door.

"How have you been doing? You know how I worry about you." Kyle was acting quite strange. I have never seen him so concerned about me. I certainly don't mind. It's what I've always wanted now wasn't it?

"Oh you know same old same old." I couldn't tell him the truth right now. I couldn't tell him how my dad has been drunk every night, how I worried about my sister, how I haven't been sleeping, how I'm in love with him. "You have no reason to worry about me. I'll be just fine. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah I suppose you can. You're always so strong. I can tell you're lying to me by the way. I know that things have been different lately for you. I just want you to trust me is all." Kyle then opened his front door for me and gestured me through. I quickly walked in so that he couldn't see the expression on my face. I want to be able to tell him everything that goes on. I'm just too scared to say anything to him because I'm afraid of what his reaction might be. "My parents took Ike to Denver for the weekend to get him some new clothes for school. They always have to get new stuff right when the summer starts. It's kind of silly because he will grow during the summer and might not fit them for the new school year. I guess they just like to spend their money on things." He started chuckling to himself. I couldn't help but join in. His laugh is so contagious.

"So it's just you and I for the night then?" I tried to hide my excitement but completely failed.

"Yes it will be. Is that okay?" He smiled at me again when he asked me this. Something is totally up. I can feel it.

"Of course it will be." I smiled back at him and looked him in the eyes. He has such beautiful eyes that I could look at for days.

We went into the kitchen and ate most of the pizza. I had more than Kyle because I was so hungry. He didn't mind though. He never does. He knows I'm poor and don't get much food. Of course, he won't say anything about it because he knows it's a touchy subject for me. That's what I love most about him. He knows all these things about me and he will never taunt me the way Eric does. He understands it's not my fault and that I would give anything for it to be otherwise. After we ate we sat down on the couch and started watching some movies. I lost track of how many we watched and which ones we did watch. I finally looked at the clock and realized that it was almost one in the morning.

"Oh shit! Is that the time?" I was starting to get a little tired and I should have been home a couple hours ago. I don't really care though. My parents will yell at me for ten minutes then get over it. "It's getting kind of late. Maybe I should start heading home."

"Oh okay. Yeah it's quite a walk between our houses isn't it?" I could tell he didn't want me to leave just by the expression on his face. This made me happy actually. He wanted me around him.

"Yeah." I replied to his question as I put on my shoes. "I had fun tonight. I'm glad you ended up calling me."

"I'm glad you came." He smiled at me again. I almost ran into the door because I was staring at him while I was walking. I couldn't help myself. I opened the door and stepped out into the chilly night. I wish I brought a jacket or something. I walked down the front path to the street. He was watching me from his doorway. Just as he was about to close the door, he shouted something to me in the night. "I love you!" Right after he finished saying this, he quickly closed the door.

I stood there dumbfounded for a moment. Did he really just say that to me? Or am I imagining it because it was such a perfect night? What do I do now? Do I go to his door and tell him how I feel or do I wait till tomorrow to tell him? I decided to wait till tomorrow to let this settle on me. He told me he loved me! I can't believe it! I decided to take the long way home and take my time getting home. I needed this euphoria to last as long as possible. Kyle loves me. I wonder for how long he has felt this way about me. Maybe he can tell that I feel the same way. Why else would he invite me over tonight, just the two of us? And that hug he gave me when he saw me. It wasn't the kind of hug that two friends share. That hug was the kind of hug that two lovers share. He probably does know that I do indeed love him and have for years now. Everything around me looks so much nicer in the night. Or maybe it only looks nicer because I'm in such a good mood right now. I'm not even that cold right now. My happiness keeps me warm.

I finally reached my house and I didn't even care that the all the lights are on and I can see my parents waiting for me in the window. I'm just too happy to care right now. I opened the door and immediately started talking so they couldn't say anything first.

"I'm sorry I'm so late. I didn't mean to stay out this long. I was at Kyle's and we lost track of time." I could see the surprise on their faces. I had never apologized before for being late. I usually just sulked past them shouting back at them. They didn't really say anything to me so I just walked into my room, got changed, and climbed into my bed. I started thinking about Kyle again. When am I not thinking about Kyle? I thought about his red, curly hair, about his cute little smile, about his eyes, his face, his body, and of course I was thinking about the words he had said to me earlier that night. How can I possibly forget them? I was staring at the ceiling for some time until sleep overcame me. "I love you too." I whispered softly into the night and feel into a deep sleep.


End file.
